If we have made it past unforgiveness we may recognize we have contempt for the person who was the perpetrator of the offense. I recall being in just that situation. I had contempt for a certain person because of their character or lack there of. The Lord showed me to move from contempt to “pity” for the person. I could do that. After I made the move to pity I was comfortable and in fact kind of happy to pity them. Then the Lord showed me to move to compassion. This I understand is how the Lord deals with us. I do not think I could have abruptly moved past contempt if I had not first viewed the person with pity and then finally made it to compassion which resolved the issue. In so far as it depends upon me, I will remain at peace with all men. (Romans 12:18) Now that several years have past, I only think of the offense when relating this mechanism of gaining liberty with this type of problem.